LOCATION: Thousand Oaks, CA
PRICE: $8,950,000
SIZE: 13,053 square feet, 7 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: Late yesterday afternoon, deep into our second top-shelf gin & tonic (extra lime, please) Your Mama heard word from tireless real estate yenta Yolanda Yakketyyak that guitar legend and veteran rock 'n' roll VIP John Fogerty of Creedence Clearwater Revival fame and fortune, dropped $8,950,000 on a spacious estate in Thousand Oaks, CA, a sprawling and affluent community about 20 miles over the Santa Monica Mountains to the tip of Point Dume in Malibu and just about equidistant between downtown L.A. and Santa Barbara.
Property records show the 20+ acre Thousand Oaks estate was acquired in May (2013) with the very same somewhat oddly-named trust that owns the 13,476 square foot, faux-Tuscan mansion on three gated and landscaped acres in Beverly Hills (Post Office) that Mister Fogerty and his Missus, Julie, had on the market as a whisper listing over the summer (2013) with an asking price of $23.5 million.*
The roomy estate—it looks like the sort of place that would have been given a name, doesn't it?—sits amid an impressive group of similarly sized estates in a small, gated enclave in the Hidden Valley area of Thousand Oaks, the same swanky and bucolic locale where Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi DeGeneres sold their 26-acre horse-oriented compound for nearly $11 million to luxury t-shirt tycoon (and budding real estate baller) James Perse. Listing information described the Fogerty's Thousand Oaks spread as a "Rustic Mediterranean Estate" but we're not exactly sure what's rustic about this extensive estate other than the rolling mountains that surround the otherwise manicured grounds that include vast amoebic swathes of well watered lawn.
The mostly one-level H-shaped residence** was designed, as per digital marketing materials, by North Hollywood-based architect and Mediterranean macmansion specialist Ron Firestone and completed, as per property records we peeped, in 2004. There are seven bedrooms—one more queenly than the next—and 7.5 bathrooms—one more ebulliently garnished that the last—in 13,053 square feet of interior space outfitted, as per listing details, with pecan floors, wood-beamed ceilings, five fireplaces, a 500-bottle wine closet, and remote-controlled window shades and lighting system.
Other features of note include: an irrigation system with a private water well and a 22,000 gallon cistern; a 12-car garage—the seller had a portion of it set up as an—uh—man cave; a salt water swimming pool and spa and a nearby cabana with pool equipment and bathroom. There are at least a couple fountains and at least one of those pergola-folly things fashioned from a domed, wrought iron cap placed carefully atop classical carved stone columns.
To be honest, children, Your Mama does not even have the will power to (dis and/or) discuss this house, either its faux-Old World and liberally pastiched architectural bones or all its baronial decorative opulence and festooned frippery. We are absolutely certain that all the heavily pasamenteried drapery and all the carved and tassled furniture, the tapestries, and bedazzled accessories cost an absolute fortune and we also understand that different people have different visions and versions of what constitutes luxury, good taste, and regal comfort. But, children, the obsessively ornamented day-core seen in the listing photographs of this house just makes Your Mama feel like we need a damn nerve pill. We just feel like, big as the damn place is, we'd suffocate in a house like that. So, rather than go through the torture of a (too) long and over-detailed, pre-holiday hoozy-goozy of a discussion of the house and property, let's let y'all ponder on and opine about the not entirely tongue-in-cheek listing copy Yolanda Yakketyyak wrote for the property:
Have you been wanting a house that speaks to you on an emotional, not simply architectural level?
A house that single-handedly defines America yet deftly blends our diverse cultural heritage into every block and beam?
A house with an awe-inspiring Feng Shui-ed layout that single-handedly provides you with the courage and the tenacity to take the reigns of your destiny and step out from the shadow of darkness that blankets our generation?
Your prayers have been answered.
Mee-ow.
Anyways, in addition to their old digs in Beverly Hills (that they would like to sell) and their palatial new piece of the property pie in Thousand Oaks Mister and Missus Fogerty also still own a much more modest, 1,890 square foot house on a twisting, celebrity-lined street in the Beverly Hills Post Office area that they picked up in November 2008 for $1,385,000.
*The Fogerty's Bev Hills mansion, which they appear to have custom built on land they acquired in 2002 for $2.9 million, no longer appears on The Agency's website but, as far as Your Mama can tell, the property has not been sold. Make of that what you will.
**Listing details describe the house as "single level living except" for the "hundreds of feet of storage plus storage facility on the third level under the main floor area" and the "upstairs granny flat or media room that might also be suitable for a live-in domestic or an underachieving adult child.
listing photos: Shawn Cordon for Keller Williams